JUST GONNA COMPLAIN

I know Thanksgiving just passed and I should be blogging about everything I'm thankful for and all that, but I don't want to lol. Don't get me wrong I had a good Thanksgiving though. Anyway just more boy drama. First an update on Texas. He's so damn confusing. One day he'll come in and be all flirtatious and cute. Other days he's just in and out and doesn't say much. We've hung out a couple times but nothing special. I was starting to think he just wanted me for my body ;D hahah or just using me. It's sad though because I actually like him. Oh well life goes on right?

Next is a nigga Sam. He is one persistent annoying ass. So I know him from our first Tongan ward from when we moved here. But I got to know him better because he dated my sister. Long story short, they broke up because he was going on his mission. She dated other guys and ended up marrying one of them. So I didn't see him when he came back for a while. Later he added me on fb and Instagram. I saw he was married and had a daughter. Anyway just a couple weeks ago he stopped by the store to say hi, but I had already left. So he messaged me on fb saying he stopped by and all that blah blah blah. It started getting weird, asking for my number. He invited me to a mix for "my birthday" I didn't think anything of it because he said he said he's bringing a friend. By that I thought he was gonna try hooking me up or something. Nope he actually wanted me for himself lol. We hung out a couple times after that but never alone. He wanted to talk so we did. He just basically said he liked me and if I would date him. I said no. It's not the fact he dated my sister, I mean it makes things awkward that's for sure. But I'm not attracted to him, he annoys me and he's technically still married. Come on guys can you please take care of your shit before you start moving on. Even after I told him no, he's still not giving up. I'm about to go ham on his behind lol He's a nice guy and not that bad looking, just not someone I'm interested in.

Why is it that the ones you want are the ones you have to work hard for, but the ones you don't care for are handed to you. I always joked I'll find a guy with kids that way I don't have to have any of my own. IT WAS A JOKE! ugh I guess somewhere on my body it says looking for married men with kids. hahah shoulda knocked on wood. As of right now, going through all these crazy and annoying guys, I just don't want to date anymore. I know it'll change once another hottie comes around lol

HEAD BANGIN' BOOTY SHAKIN' HAND WAVIN' HIP THRUSTIN'

If you don't do any of those while listening to music, there's something wrong with you or the music you're listening to. I love music. One day, if I ever have my own place, there will always be something playin'. It makes cooking and cleaning just that much better. I wish I could afford a system for GeeGee. It helps with road rage ahah.

I like bits of everything from oldies to rock. Growing up I mostly listened to The Beetles, Beach Boys, Elvis, and Tongan jams.We'd be mash potatoing it in the living room. Or doin' the Jail House Rock. The Electric Slide and Island music from church dances. As I got older, it was R&B and Hip Hop from my older siblings. When I started getting closer to my older brother, Alternative Rock was added to my playlist. Best for an anger workout lol. I didn't really listen to Country because nobody really listened to it. It wasn't until I was forced into 3rd wheel position, my sisters boyfriend at the time was always listening to country. I actually liked some of the songs.

Now I just listen to whatever I'm in the mood for. Always lookin' for something new to jam to. It's weird and cool to be around all kinds of different genres and to see how music evolves and changes.

I have a confession!

I hate shaving!

Hahahah you thought it was gonna be something juicy or something huh? Nope just annoying shaving. Seriously girls have to shave EVERYTHING. Armpits and legs. Some girls arms and kooka ;). We gotta wax the brows and some their staches lol! Even my stomach is hairy! ugh being tongan, it's more noticeable so it's not like I can just leave it for a while unless I wanna look like a cavewoman.

I remember asking my mom, when I was probably 9 or 10, when I can shave. She said whenever you want dear. The next second I was in the shower with a razor shaving. I straight cut myself like three times. Wasn't such a big deal after that hahah. If I had the money I would just get laser hair removal.

MY HAIR!

Is annoying me right now! I feel it will never grow back to them looong locks I used to have. I just got a crappy azz cut! I hate it. I just want to put in a bun til it grows out of this fugly stage. I'm a cheap mofo so I went to Great Clips. It's a hit n miss there. I like 2 ladies there that did an awesome job, but my slow azz can't remember their names. Growing up my mom always just trimmed it for us. Normally I would still have her do it, but my picky self likes it layered. It all started with that first cut my senior year. From almost to my behind to above my shoulders. I donated it :( lol Now I feel it's stuck to my shoulder blades. GROW HAIR damn it!

from this

to this

to staying like this

Relationships AGAIN

MEN MEN MEN

If you don't know, now you know NIGGA! hahah I just wanted to say that. But for reals. From my previous posts you can tell I have the best luck with BOYS. Where are the men? Some of it is my fault though.

So I have another great story to tell. Imma tell you a very short version though. Basically met a guy that moved here from Maine. He was a waste of time, gas, money, makeup, and energy to shave and dress up. The end. Seriously one really annoying lost person I met. My sistah even asked me why I didn't "dump" him. I guess I'm too nice. Which brings me to a convo I had with my cousin. She basically said I need to know how to be a bitch and say no. Not the first time I've heard that. But I learned more things about that Gay Flocko nigga. Just makes me want to be a bitch to any guy I meet, but its not in my nature. Makes me feel pathetic for letting it go on for so long and not doing anything about it. Just brought me back to the other guy. Literally :( such a shame that I stoop to that level again to go back to him. He knows what to say to me and lures me in. I don't know why ..

But on a positive note, a cute customer kinda asked me on a date. LOL He's a tall white young guy from Texas. I would date him any day hahah but he's not old enough to buy alcohol, that's why I say young. It's not much of an age difference, but I just think it's kinda weird. He calls the store before he comes in to see if I'll sell him beer. I think it's just so his relatives (who he stays with) won't have to come up to get it. But in the back of my head I just think he's just gonna use me to get some for him. He's really nice and respectful. Just putting lots of scenarios of how it'll come down to with him. I wonder if he even knows how old I am hahah He doesn't act like an ass. I like that about guys.

 My brother asked me what's the first thing I look for in a guy. Like nothing to do with his body or his looks. I said someone that's respectful and good with kids. With the last guy, he demanded everything like I was his slave or something. He didn't even open ANY doors for me. He just didn't give a shit about anything. Never considered others feelings. I don't like want a guy to cater to my every need I'm a very independent woman,  but some assurance that he cares is nice. I want someone that will walk an elderly across the street. Someone that will try to make an unhappy child smile. But at the same time has a tough exterior. Not a softie can't do that. If he cries more than me, it won't work lol

What qualities do you look for in a MAN?

blah blah blahg lol

 To my "devoted reader", you can thank insomnia for this. hahah

The last couple weeks I haven't been able to sleep due to staying up watching YouTube, or just looking at endless pictures on Instagram. I know, I have a problem. I no gare. hahah Now I can't go to sleep early soooooo everything and anything is going through my brain. sooooo I decided why not blog it right?!

Anyway just so you know, it's about to get crazy up on hurr hahah. As you can already tell, I'm not a writer. soooo it'll just be a big jumble now about everything and anything. I've been reading a few peoples blogs (cuz I'm nosey lol) and it's made me want to blog. So hopefully I actually do and stick to it. So stick around if ya want to get in ma crazy brain :D Toodles

Soooome People Man!

Working at a convenient store, you learn a lot about how lazy and dumb people can be.
I guess straw wrappers are so hard to throw away. We even put a bucket on the counter just for that reason and somehow they still can't make it in.
Oh there's a dent in the bottle! I can't drink it anymore I need to switch it for a different one because it won't taste the same.
This candy bar is broken I'll switch it. YOU GON BREAK IT ANYWAY!
Oops I didn't want a fountain drink or Icee, I'll just leave my half full cup right here.
Oh no I spilled! I'll just pay for my stuff, they'll eventually see it. Just tell us you spilled please. We ain't gonna shun you from the store. It happens sheesh.
You people with food stamps buying junk, seriously! Use it at the grocery store on FOOD. Then don't finish the transaction and pull out cash for yo damn cigarettes.
I guess I'm just sick of work lol or just need a break.

Truth Be Told

You can't force yourself to stop liking someone, but you can tell yourself that you deserve someone better and try to move on.
          -Rudeboii

Running back to an ex shows two things. 1. That no matter what he's done to your heart you would still love him, that gives him the power to do what he wants when he wants. 2. It shows that what happened has killed your confidence, made you insecure and has brought your self-esteem to ground level, not letting you be confident enough to find someone else.. to trust that another will love, appreciate and treat you like you want to be.
#MoveOn
          -Stallion

I really don't know why it is so hard to just move on. I had no problem moving on from the last fling I had. Why is it hard to move on from this one? I don't think my confidence is shot. I have self-esteem issues but I always have and always will.

I know it's wrong. I know it won't go anywhere. I know nothing will change. I know what to do, but I guess I keep putting it off hoping it will change. For what though? It still isn't a place I want to be. I've at least started the process, but it isn't enough. I have to finish it! Moving on is hard for me.

So I guess I am going in a direction, just not the right one.

No Direction

What the hell am I doing? Where am I going?

I feel like I'm going nowhere in life, like I'll be living in my parents basement 'til I'm 35. I want to go back to school. But for what? I don't know what I want to do as a career. I need and want another job, but ain't doin' a dang thing to get one.

I also feel so out of place. It's like everyone I know is getting hitched or having babies, and/or going to school. Like they all have something going for them. I wish I can just go off somewhere and start a new life or "find" mine while I'm gone. My nieces are what truly make me happy though, so I'll just stay put for now.

HECKA LATE Day 30!!

A Picture Of Me Today and 20 Goals I Want To Accomplish

I was going to write this on New Years eve because I was planning to be a loner that night. hahah But I actually did something and it was a BLAST! Sooooo I guess I'll finish this challenge lol

Anyway this is not a picture of me today because you don't wanna see what I look like right now. I think it's the most recent one though. Me and ma seester Bby Doll. I also won't have 20 goals to put down because I haven't set any. I could put some bull poopie things down and call it good but I probably wouldn't come up with that many. hahah I do have ONE however! That is to actually set some. Maybe not 20 but I gotta start somewhere. Need some direction in life. lol Well there it is FINALLY finished this thing.

Ugh

MARRIAGE!

The other day my dad asked me when I'm getting married. I just told him never. Then he goes on about guys in our ward that are "good" guys. Ugh seriously I'm annoyed of people asking if and when I'm getting married. Can I have a boyfriend first!? And if I were to get with anyone I'm sure they aren't gonna be in our ward. I'm happy being single and actually enjoying it at the moment thank you very much. If someone comes along, great! If not, oh well! I'm obviously not meant to be married at this time. So please stop asking. Thank you!